This is the sequel to “What to Do On A Date” — I think Kay grew up to be Helen Gurley Brown! The move of making him get the book down from the high shelf of the locker? Classic!
A Year-Long Experiment in Vintage Beauty
Take Me Out to the Ball Game
“A baseball game. A date that isn’t too involved, one you can carry through comfortably” What To Do On a Date (1951)
Pictured: Victory. Also, Doreen
I know literally three things about baseball: 1) It’s played with a ball, 2) There are bases involved and 3) That if you lose, you get ice cream and if you win, you get Pizza Hut. This vast knowledge was culled from three years of pee-wee softball where my coach, Doreen, would sit down on a splitering, lead-painted bench, fire up an unfiltered Kool, gather us girls around and, in between inhales which she kindly directed right into our eight-year-old faces, tell us to get out there and play without ever actually, you know, teaching us how to play. Needless to say, Becker’s softball team never saw the inside of a Pizza Hut.
But apparently, a ball game is a fun date, and Mike has been anxious to see the Oneonta Outlaws play, so we did. Mike is and always has been one of my favorite boy friends because he, having known me for nearly a decade, has figured out (more or less) how to treat me, like complimenting my skull earrings and paying for things. I remembered too late that he liked the blue eyeliner I was wearing on our last date to the drive-in, or else I would have worn it for him.
Currently NY is experience temperatures not unlike the inside of a slow cooker. It’s hot, it’s damp and it’s sunny, but the sunscreen merely lays on top of your skin like an extra layer, only unlike your cotton sundress or tee-shirt, you can’t sweat through it. Miserable conditions for a ballgame, but we’d been trying to schedule this for three weeks now and we weren’t going to let nuclear sunlight drive us away from our date.
Mike knows tons and tons and tons about baseball. He’s a Yankees fan, and the only non-jerk male Yankees fan I know, so throughout the game, he would explain stats and tell me about awesome plays he saw on YouTube. We sat in the shaded deck and then, later, in one of the empty box seats to watch the Outlaws completely blow a game against the not-much-better Syracuse Salt Cats in the first game of their double-header in what was mostly an ongoing display of Beckers-esq incompetence. (They won the second game, but I’m not sure what that does for the ice cream/pizza roster).
What was nice about the game was the relaxed atmosphere. We could have drinks and chit-chat and keep an eye on the game and cheer when one of our players did something good, but it lacked the intensity of professional sports, where you’re crowded in with superfans screaming in your ears. Plus, I also got to follow Arlene Dahl’s advice about drawing out his ideas, which I think Mike enjoyed. And making sure your partner enjoys the date is, according to the short, one of the fundamentals of dating!
So maybe next time we’ll go to a weenie roast . . . or fix up a scavenger sale!
Guest Blog at Canned Laser
Eeon & Pete of Canned Laser (and the subject of the March 31 experiment) let me guest blog about G.I. Joe: Retaliation over at their site. Warning: It’s not very ladylike.
Your Biggest Fan
“The destinies of nations have been altered . . . by the flutter of a fan. Why not revive these delightful customs of the past to stimulate romance?” Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man
“I’d like to know you better”
I’ve always loved the image of Southern women gently fanning themselves in a warmly-lit church or on a porch, so I dug out a lovely bamboo fan Ian gave me a few years ago, and with the weather as hot as it has been, I’ve really been using it! At work, it gave me something to fiddle with while I thought through a difficult article or pay layout, a quiet pause in the day to contemplate.
Arlene has a wonderful diagram of ways a fan can be used to
“I love you”
communicate. I tried some of these out on a certain older bachelor I know, but if he noticed, he didn’t say anything. But either way, it kept me cool!
“I’ll keep our secret”
Slinky Thing
“When we were first dating, he said to me, “Get into something slinky black. We’re going over to meet my friends Jackie and Ernest.” Naturally I wanted Jackie and Ernest to like me, so I got right into something slinky and black. Well, everybody was out by the pool in wet swimsuits and faded denims and there I was–Vampira at high noon.” Helen Gurley Brown, Sex and the Single Girl
Ian and I haven’t been out to a nice dinner in awhile, and we had a few things to celebrate under the auspice of our 7 1/2 year anniversary. I also haven’t gotten dressed up since New Years, and one the things this project has really gotten me back into is LOOKING FINE. I was just going to wear my LBD, but one accessory lead to another, and soon I was wearing a hat, dark lipstick, a scarf and a pair of my grandma’s white gloves. Ian was wearing shorts and a black button down. He looked at me, lets out a sigh and went back upstairs. I was overdressed, and it was cramping his style.
Like HGB illustrates, being overdressed next to your mate can make all parties uncomfortable. Ian’s reasoning for not wanting to get dressed up was that it was hot and muggy, and he’d be miserable, ruining the whole evening. And I understood that. He apologized for groaning at my outfit, put on black pants and a black shirt, I took off the gloves and we went to Jay’s Place (our favorite) for a lovely time. And it was air conditioned, so he was comfortable even in long pants.
Maybe we were a little overdressed for the occasion, but we didn’t care. I like to think it added an air of mystery to us, so that other diners wondered what fancy party we’d just come from . . .
Throwing Shade (Take 2)
Too cute!
I once again tried taking my parasol out for a few days, and this time, was more careful about it. I finally figured out that the parasol works best when you won’t be outside for long enough bouts of time to warrant slathering on the sunscreen, but will be outside frequently (shopping, for instance) and for long periods of time (lots of shopping!) Otherwise, such as at a cafe or while I’m trying to interview someone, it does become a bit unwieldy.
The dress, by the way, is #72 in Generation T, “Flapper Frenzy.” I made it to wear at my presentation on Buckaroo Banzai at my MFA program and color-wise, it’s modeled after the one Penny Priddy wears in the nightclub scene. What can I say? I’m a glam geek! (The anime eyes help)
The White Glove Treatment
My grandma, Cora, left me all her beautiful white gloves, which I loved to play dress up in when I was a little girl. I’ve never quite known how to wear them without looking like Minnie Mouse.
These string ones, however, were given to me by Ian’s mother, and wearing them out today, even the Mayor remarked, as he shook my hand, “You’re really giving us the white glove treatment!”
Romper Room
Friends, I was once like you. I used to look at the romper and think “ugh, I had one of those when I was six*, what, is that like the summer Snuggie for people who’ve given up on life?”
But friends, I am here to tell you that I have changed my ways. A romper came into my life and showed me all the promised glory of cute, chic, comfort and style.
You see friends, I toss and turn a lot in the night. Nightgowns get tangled, and I have yet to find my dream pair of Liz Lemon-esq pajamas in which to work on my night cheese.
But one day, at TJ Maxx, I spotted a pink tag on a garment that would change my life forever (One of my superpowers is the ability to spot a Betsey Johnson tag from a mile away). This deep purple, pink rose-print cotton romper with a ruffled black satin trim and little rosettes was calling my name. I bought it and took it home and promised him that if it looked stupid or was uncomfortable, I would take it back.
That night, I discovered that sleep did not have to be marred by twisted shirts and baggy boxers. I could lounge comfortably with coffee in the morning. And it looked fetching with my pink satin kitten-heel slippers.
Ian called it a “gateway garment” that would eventually lead to a Snuggie and, possibly a Hoodie Footie. But friends, I am here to tell you that those are THE DEVIL’S LIES. Go out and buy one in every shade and you will NOT be sorry you did!
(This does not mean, however, that the romper can be worn outside. Then it just looks stupid and frumpy.)
*It had Rainbow Brite on it. Top THAT!
Hat Trick #4, #5, #6
Thursday!
The turban is another wonderful, unexpected disguise for limp hair. I bought this little number n Austin, TX while visiting our friend Sterling. He was nice enough to take me to all the coolest thrift stores, and I found this piece on the last day of our trip.
Friday!
The little red flower was a great impulse purchase from Hot Topic a few months back, and really adds a certain flair to an outfit, especially when it’s TOO HOT to wear a big heavy hat.
The sunhat was the hardest to work around because it’s just so dramatic. Very Lydia Dietz. But my assignment that morning called for sneakers, so despite my best intentions, I didn’t feel as put-together as I might have otherwise. It did, however, keep the sun off my face, a plus, plus a man asked if he could take a picture to show his wife, also a hat fiend.
Saturday
The lesson learned is that, yes, hats are awesome and should be worn as often as possible with as many outfits as you can create. They elevate you to a level of style no other woman in the room can possible compete with. Ian loved each and every one I brought out, lots of men compliment them and they really do serve as a unique conversation starter. Have hats for all of them!
I’ll revisit this stunt again, when it gets colder…get out my wool cloches and derbies!
Hat Trick #4
“A becoming hat…can hide a droopy hairstyle” Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man
The cloche hat is a magical hat. It can hide even the worst hair, like when you have to rush to an 
sudden interview and don’t have time to shower, plus it’s chic and kind of funky and really compliments short hair.
This 1920’s burlap cloche is another hat I’ve never worn. A friend of my grandma’s gave it to me in high school because she knew I loved vintage clothes. It had been folded up for decades, and never quite fit right. So when I started this week, I borrowed a foam head from Ian and tried to reshape it, crossing my fingers that I wouldn’t damage it. It worked, and now I have a sweet new hat, perfect for summer! (my other cloche is wool, not really summer ready). And it made me look put together for my interview, even though I’d had to rush out the door when I got the call and didn’t have time to shower (don’t worry, I washed my hair when I got home!)
Geek Girl Goes Glam 