Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Day The Blogs Crossed Paths

“An affair can overlap, of course” Helen Gurley Brown, Sex and the Single Girl

HGB is all about dating married men, so today, I asked my friend Eeon, (married to the awesome Bridget) to accompany me to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation.  And since Eeon does the Canned Laser podcast with Pete (one of my Most Eligible Bachelors) I decided to invite him along too . . . after all, since HGB says I can date two men at once, why not go out with them at the same time?  I’m a busy girl, after all.  Also, this way, I shielded Ian from having to sit through a movie that was almost as good as The Room.

Some quick thoughts about the movie: Walton Goggins was extra-Goggins-y, just eating scenery and loving it.  He rocked a pink oxford (Note to guys: You cannot do this.  Do not even try) and his scenes were over too soon in a really drag way.  It wasn’t as clever as his performance in Predators or as deep as his portrayal of Shane Vendrell in The Shield.  But it was amusing for a few minutes in an otherwise torturous movie devoid of soul, heart, or original dialogue.

But the company was great.  We had pizza and wings afterwards at the Depot, and they made me laugh, like they always do.

Guys, here’s the secret to getting a great girl (like Bridget).  Be funny.  And not funny in that way that you can quote Anchorman.  Be genuinely funny.  Learn to tell a joke or a good story.  That way , no matter what, you can always show a girl (even ones you’re not dating) a good time.

Even at G.I. Joe.

Presents, Please

“I can’t give you anything but love” is a real Depression-era sentiment.  There must be something he can give.”  Helen Gurley Brown, Sex and the Single Girl

I was in Sperbeck’s getting chips, a banana and a few minute chocolate bars (feck diets!) when a man came up to me and told me he liked my rose-printed 14 eyelet Doc Martens.  They’re beautiful boots; my mom and Ian went in on them for Christmas one year and I’ve been wearing them a lot lately. Docs are my shoe of choice; I’ve been wearing them since college and this is the 4th pair I own.Image

But they’re not exactly Betsey Johnson stiletto booties, so I was kind of surprised that they got noticed.  He proceeded to tell me that he had a pair of vintage hiking boots that would probably be my size; if he could find them, he would give them to me.  I smiled politely and thanked him, but didn’t expect anything would come of it.

I went in today to get my chips and chocolate, and the woman behind the counter said that he had, in fact, left them for me.  And, true to his word, they fit.

Some women get men to buy them anything.  My sister Laura used to have guys lining up to buy her things.  One of them offered to buy her a dog one time.  My boyfriend Geza used to spoil me with roses and dinners, Ian buys me random things and Matthew almost never shows up empty handed (he got me an SVU crew hoodie!) is but as a general rule, men don’t often come up and offer to give me presents. The boots are stiff from storage, but they’re insanely cool.  They’re actually cobbled, not glued.  And maybe they’re not affair-inspiring stilettos, but they’re totally Libby.

A girl could get used to this . . . .

The windmill worked wonders for my waist, but that’s about all I can say.  Maybe if I kept doing them longer, I might see some more serious results, but seeing as how I pulled my back and tortured my neck doing them, the first time,. I think I’ll try something else.

To be honest, I’m really not a fan of workouts.  I had one I followed for a little while, but when we moved, I fell out of practice.  Ian goes to the gym, but I’m just waiting out spring so that I can get back on my bike.    I like my exercise to have a purpose, like going to the store to buy chips.  I like to get somewhere.  I like to see scenery and I like to go at my own pace. And when I’m on my bike, I can daydream, I can sort through the day’s worries, plot new story ideas or just breathe deep and not think at all.  When I do a workout routine, I’m just watching TV, which is something I do too much of anyway.

So maybe biking isn’t not ladylike, but it sure as hell beats laying on the floor writhing around like I’m possessed by Satan.

Geek Girl Gets Hurt

In the pursuit of fab fitness, your glamorous geek pulled a muscle in her neck and is now existing on  a steady diet of ibuprofin, muscle relaxants and bad cop shows.

But in the bonus column, my waist looks FABULOUS . . . even if the windmills did pull out my back.

My full report will be on your desks tomorrow.  For now, HEATING PAD!

 

Workout, Day 4

“To Slim Inner Thighs: Stand on tiptoe with feet together and, without moving forth from that spot, “prance” in position.  The brisk, back and forth motion will slap the inner thighs and knees together, reducing excess fat.  Continue running in place for one minute.” Arlene Dahl, Always Ask A Man

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I’m a Maniac! (Good God, do I really look like that?!?)

There’s something instinctively Flashdance about this motion, but yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not how exercise works.  But then again, maybe I’m not “prancing” correctly.  I’m sort of not sure how this one works, to tell you the truth.  

Had to skip the windmills tonight.  I think I pulled my back . . . badly.  Beauty hurts.  (Whoopie Pies, on the other hand, do not!)