Since I am now an engaged woman, I have to leave it up to readers like Michelle to do my dating for me! Michelle is a modern-day Helen Gurley Brown, except she cooks and eats and I don’t hate her. But Michelle adores men, and men adore Michelle, and she’s happy to see as many as them as possible–sometimes I’m surprised she can keep them all straight!
I think I literally went on 50 three minute dates. It was exhilarating.
Naturally, at a speed dating event with absolutely no filter I was expecting to leave my 50 dates with at least 5 horror stories. And instead I have none.
There was one guy who couldn’t continue a conversation with me (and I am pretty good at conversing- it’s stopping me that is usually the problem.)
A few guys were invading my personal space too much, but it was also much louder than one would expect (a crowded bar with no music but 50 conversations going on does require raising ones voice).
Some guys were kino-escalating too much. (http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/kino-escalation/)
For a few the three minutes seemed a bit too long.
But all of the rest of them were positive interactions with decent conversations and a lot of laughing.
I did not meet the love of my life.
My friends and I all liked the same five guys most.
But the fact that there were actually FIVE cute and personable men seems like better odds than usual.
There were a variety of backgrounds- it was in Manhattan-different professions (teacher, cops, business, pilots, engineers) a number of foreigners (Israel, India, Austin) in addition to the natives. I could see myself being friends with many of them and wish we had a little more time to talk in general.
I think the success lies in the fact that at a bar most guys are not comfortable coming up to girls unless they are so used to rejection they don’t care (and they will continue to be rejected because they are weird). This actually created a comfortable environment where everyone had a fair shot. I assume all the girls acted like I did- being personable and friendly to all of the guys so they actually had a chance to show their personality. In a normal bar, a guy has to worry about a girl not being single, being surrounded by friends, or being scared. Since we’re all asking to be here the approach is much easier and people can actually be the best version of themselves for three minutes at a time.
Of course, during the break I talked to a couple of guys and it wound up being a girl who bought me a drink (she was interesting- too bad I didn’t get her number since she clearly knows how to have a good time!) I was kind of awestruck by the guys still not being what I consider a gentleman, but it was a fun night overall.
Next time I would definitely try one of the less dates with longer times mostly because by the end I had forgotten who everyone was and it was a big blur. But since I was expecting to be entertained by imps and was instead entertained by charming conversation it was still a win.