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Hat Trick #4

“A becoming hat…can hide a droopy hairstyle”  Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man

The cloche hat is a magical hat.  It can hide even the worst hair, like when you have to rush to an Imagesudden interview and don’t have time to shower, plus it’s chic and kind of funky and really compliments short hair.

This 1920’s burlap cloche is another hat I’ve never worn.  A friend of my grandma’s gave it to me in high school because she knew I loved vintage clothes.  It had been folded up for decades, and never quite fit right.  So when I started this week, I borrowed a foam head from Ian and tried to reshape it, crossing my fingers that I wouldn’t damage it.  It worked, and now I have a sweet new hat, perfect for summer! (my other cloche is wool, not really summer ready).  And it made me look put together for my interview, even though I’d had to rush out the door when I got the call and didn’t have time to shower (don’t worry, I washed my hair when I got home!)

Hat Trick Day 2

“The right hat gives a woman a lift…when she adjusts a seductive wisp of veil over her eyes or pins a pert bit of fluff on her head, she not only looks more beguiling, she feels that way too”  Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man

I’ve had this little black velvet cap with the birdcage veil forever, but I don’t remember where or when I got it or if I’ve ever actually worn it.  (Best guess: Rags-a-Go-Go in NYC, High School, No).  But what better time to try it out than during Hat Week?

The hardest part was putting together an outfit to go with such a vintage hat. A dress might make it look too costume-y for a Tuesday in the office, but I didn’t just want to slap it on my head all willy-nilly.

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Late night and still looking fine!

The birdcage veil caused it’s own set of problems.  It looked stupid over my glasses, and I don’t like to wear contacts on my 13 hour Tuesdays (plus I was out of contact lens solution).  I ended up draping it backwards so that it accented the hat.  I thought it looked awesome, and gave me a way to wear it more often.

Outfit wise, I ended up going with a my favorite red polo shirt and black jeggings, but it was the gloves that tied it all together.  I bought those for my 80s prom ensemble I wore to the Stonecoast graduation dance (Matthew, who went to a born-again high school and didn’t have a prom, was my date). and haven’t worn them nearly as often as I should.  They soften an otherwise boyish ensemble and lend a sweet, but edgy touch to an outfit.  The black lace matched the netting, pulling the whole thing together.  

The problem with this hat is, like the pillbox, it’s not very secure.  The velvet makes it too thick to pin down, and it merely rested on top of my head the whole day, held on only by wills and prayer.  I had to keep adjusting it, and if I moved, it threatened to fall forward.  At least for part of the day, though, it reminded me to sit up straight.

But despite that, I really, really liked wearing this hat.  I’ve held onto it for so long and often thinking about getting rid of it, but finally figuring out how to wear it and what it can do for an outfit means it’s going to get some heavy hat rotation.

Hat Trick

“Walk directly to the hat of your dreams and declare your love” Mr. John, The Charming Woman (Edited by Helen Fraser) (1950)

I have always loved hats, especially because they hide 30 years of hair I’ve never quite fully taken to liking.  I’ve had all sorts of hats–cabbie caps, Blossom brims, tiny pillboxes, enormous sunhats.

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I started with berets in the sixth grade, because my sister Shaun wore them with her long green Eponine-esq Army trenchcoat (Shaun was so cool), and then Monica Lewinsky ruined the beret until I was in 10th grade, where I have several photos of me rockin’ a beret with my sophomore year Daria uniform of a sweater, pleated skirt, patterned tights and combat boots (even though personality wise, I’m more Jane).

I do own a raspberry beret and yes, I got it in a second-hand store.  I want a leopard-skin pillbox hat too, just to continue my musical nerd-dom.

I started this week’s stunt with my black pillbox, complete with jeweled hatpin.  My hair was misbehaving today, which actually made hat wearing more difficult.  See, I have this thing with my ears–I don’t like stuff touching the tops/backs of them.  Glasses are torture enough (especially when they get loose, which they do surprisingly often), but I don’t like anything that could make them stick out any further than they already do.  

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Hats Are Fun!

The hat, combined with the limpness of my terrible hair, kept pushing out my ears, and I had to keep adjusting the whole thing, which almost ended up being more trouble than it’s worth.  It’s a very cute hat and I liked the little “bump” it gave me in the back, but even now, it’s still not one that I wear very often.  

 

Happy Father’s Day

“If you are a schoolgirl, flatter your father”  Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man

I never really had one of those “Daddy’s Girl” relationships, which is fine because I find them just a tad creepy.  I like my family as a friend, thanks.

A couple quick words about my dad.  He’s responsible for just about everything I like except for Jethro Tull, Blondie and the Smiths.  He introduced my sisters and I to Star Wars, Back to the Future, Steely Dan, Rodney Dangerfield, SNL.  I watched MST3K on his TV.  He let Hilary and I put up outer space wallpaper that still stands to this day.  He never once said, “You are NOT leaving the house in that” (even in the full throes of my goth-girl phase) and never once punished me for ignoring my curfew, which I did all the time.

My dad is also responsible for showing me Arrested Development, which we have quoted at family gatherings every since.  The day my grandmother Cora died, we gathered at home and watched “Good Grief.”  We actually laughed, and I realized that everything was going to be all right.

So for my birthday, he got me an official Bluth Development tee-shirt, a substantial upgrade from the “Save Our Bluths” tee-shirt that Hilary and I made with fabric markers and, later, stencils (mine had a seal on it and it read “I Went Swimming in the Ocean”).  But one thing my dad has never been good at is guessing sizes.  The shirt, while awesome, was way too big.  It was comfy over leggings, though, which was fine because I rarely had time (or the weather) to actually wear a tee-shirt.

But my dad, who works for FEMA, was finally home from his deployment, and we were going to have a BBQ. I was going to flatter my father, damn it, by wearing the tee-shirt he gave me, and it was going to look NICE.

I got out Megan Nicolay’s Generation T*which is starting to fall apart, and tried to figure out what project to make.  I almost decided on a dress like I’d done with the XXL Shield tee-shirt Ian got me a while back (which earned me a half-drunk “your girlfriend looks so good in that dress” from a married friend of his), but then realized that I couldn’t find any black thread.  No-sew it was.  Enter Project #7, “Comfort Corset”

But in my haste, I misaligned the holes down the back.  It was all looking terrible.  I wanted to cry, fearing I’d ruined my awesome birthday Bluth tee-shirt.  It was bad enough I had to admit not really loving the new season, but I couldn’t show up for Father’s Day not wearing the shirt my dad bought me.  Arlene would be furious!

Pop Pop Approved

Pop Pop Approves!

 

I relaced it and tried again.  It had a bit of a Flashdance vibe, but it worked.  And my dad was happy to see me enjoying his gift.  And my niece Lucy put on a pair of 3D glasses she found, trying to imitate her Aunt Libby.  I mean, how much more flattered could a girl get?

 

 

 

 

 

*Seriously, buy this book.

Porcupine Skull

“How is it possible …to put her hair in pincurls every night, to look attractive for me?”  Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man

ImageMy cute haircut has now fallen into a flippy mess, and so the other day, while watching Gypsy on Netflix, I decided to give pincurls a try.  Upon returning home from work, Ian said I looked like Miss Tiggywinkle, when she dresses up like a washerwoman.  

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The pincurls themselves?  Well, they were kind of a mess.  But thank HEAVENS for cloche hats!

 

U Jelly?

“The best massage oil for the face is good old Vaseline” Gloria Richards, A New You (1980)

I take this even further and recommend Smith’s Rosebud Salve.  I discovered this miracle while playing mini-golf in Austin, TX–someone had just left an unopened tin on the 3rd hole!  So I took it, and have sworn by it ever since as a night cream.  It’s petroleum jelly with cottonseed oil and it smells amazing–plus it’s light enough so that you don’t go to bed all greasy.

 

 

Saying No To New Clothes

“Don’t buy anything you don’t adore.  Yes, this could easily mean fewer clothes!” Helen Gurley Brown, Sex and The Single Girl 

I love clothes and always have.  My first apartment had a walk-in closet, so I used to buy, alter or make clothes on a whim.  I doubt that in my freshman year of college, I ever wore the same outfit twice!  

But my tastes are in the process of changing, and that means admitting that I will never wear that long black lace Lip Service dress from Hot Topic or that pleated skirt I’ve had since 9th grade (and still fits!)  So into the garage sale pile they go, to make me a little extra cash to spend on, say, a new Betsey Johnson dress.

The other side of that is that I’m less impulsive about what I buy.  I’m now buying less on what I think I “should” have or what “might” work.  It may look good in a magazine, but I am not a paper girl!

The other day, I was at TJ Maxx and I saw this beautiful blue peplum dress.  I thought “I bet I could wear that to work,” and, even better, it was only $16 …but when I tried it on, I didn’t gasp in wonder at what was looking back at me in the mirror. 

Would it have worked?  Yes.  And I would have gotten plenty of compliments on it too.  But I didn’t adore it, which meant it had NO PLACE in my closet.  I barely have time for the clothes I wear–why waste time on ones I don’t love?*

 

*If you have tee-shirts, don’t throw them out–instead, pick up Generation-T and make them into cool skirts and housewares!

 

Happy Six Months!

We’re six months into this project and already I’m seeing a real change.  I’m starting to take more pride in my appearance–learning to put on makeup, finally doing my hair (more or less; still learning) and updating my wardrobe.  

I had one of those backdoor brag moments the other day; I was at Target and realized I could no longer fit in a Jr. Size 1.  Totally bummed.  I’m a Jr. size 3 now, and at first, I panicked, because I want to be thin and pretty.  Then I tried on my size 3 shorts, and I felt GREAT.  I felt voluptuous.  I felt comfortable.  I felt really beautiful.

But most importantly, I’m learning the importance of making your partner feel special.  And that’s not just Ian, it’s Mike, it’s Matthew, it’s my sisters, it’s my father-in-law.  Everyone in every relationship likes to feel like their needs are being met.  I sure do.

I don’t think this a gendered issue and I’m not trying to make it one.  I’m not saying that women belong in the kitchen.  I’m saying people belong in the kitchen because food is awesome.  I’m learning that asking an opinion about a haircut or an outfit is important because we all crave feedback and validation.  I would want any of my friends–male or female–to say “Eh, that doesn’t really work for you” when I ask how a dress looks.  And I’m learning the value of choice.  Now if I want to put on leggings and my SVU hoodie and watch MST3K, I’m doing it because that’s what I feel like doing, not because it’s a lazy, default position, and that makes the experience something to look forward to.

And I’m revisiting things I used to love–wearing contact lenses, high heels, dark nail polish.  I’m reminding myself that I am worth the time and the energy these things require.  I like the way I look in my Betsey Johnson booties.  I like giving myself mani-pedis.  I like putting effort and energy into my outfits because just throwing on on something slopping makes me feel sloppy, and I don’t perform well unless I feel my best.  When I’m in my office in a pencil skirt and heels, I feel like working.  When I’m wearing my apron, I feel like cooking.  Maybe it’s my theater background.  Maybe it’s because I inherited my grandmother Cora’s vanity.  But whatever it is, I’m really feel like this project is teaching me.

We’ve come this far together–and I can’t wait to keep at it.

Lemon Face

A slice of lemon daily rubbed on the lips just to cause tingling leaves them pleasently red”  Cora Brown Potter, The Secrets of Beauty and the Mysteries of Health

Another food-based treatment that doesn’t really work.  My lips looked no more red than before, and plus, if you’re all lemony, what man is going to want to kiss those luscious red lips?

Aunt Libby

“Let your sons see what a glamour girl they have for a mother” Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man.

Today I became Aunt Libby for the fourth time.  My sister Laura gave birth to her first child, a boy, Max Vaughn, at 12:03 a.m.  Max joins my nephew Jacob and my nieces Rachel and Lucy.  I went to visit Laura, Max and my brother-in-law Chris at the hospital, and while I held a very sleepy Max, Laura glammed herself up.  Laura has always been very glam, never going out without her hair done and her makeup on from a glitter clutch purse.  The fact that 15 hours ago, she gave birth to an 8 lb, 10 oz human being was not going to turn her into a slob.

My sister Shaun, mother of my nephew Jacob, has that seemingly-effortless glamour that many New York women have.  When I was in high school, all I wanted to do was look like her.  She had long, thick dark hair that fell in beautiful curls down her back and she wore silver glitter platforms to her prom.  She has a mysterious elegance to her, even if she’s wearing jeans and a black tee-shirt to push her kids on the swings.

I’m on the fence about having kids.  Right now my life is to hectic to even consider it, but I’m finally at an age where I can really start appreciating what it means to be an Aunt and how much fun I can have doing so.