Proof that Lent is Really, Really Over

Today some shitty crime writer made a comment on Twitter about wanting Boyd Crowder’s wardrobe, to which I responded that I, too, would like jeans that fit as well as his do. “Those jeans do wonders for his round, bouncy ass,” I wrote, feeling fun.

It’s scientific proof that Walton Goggins has a beautiful backside.  The costume designers from The Shield and Justified wouldn’t keep cramming him into those skinny jeans if he didn’t.  Red Dirt, which is admittedly a terrible movie, devoted several minutes to making sure we saw him showering.  The first comment on his January 31, 2012 AV Club Interview is about his butt.

Oh yeah.  It’s good.

But like some ape out of one of my project books who thinks he’s Don fucking Draper, replied “Okay, settle down there.”

Fuck. You.

I will not “settle down,” and I sure as fuck  won’t be talked to like a child who’s had a few too many Cadbury Eggs and is jumping up and down in front of your boss.  If any of his other asshole friends had made some comment about Ava’s (admittedly nice) buttcheeks, they’d all be having twitter high-fives.

It comes down to this: women aren’t ALLOWED to have feelings of wanton lust, and they sure as fuck aren’t allowed to express them publicly.  That would be OUT OF LINE.  That might make a guy FEEL BAD ABOUT HIMSELF.  Because women have to be pure and only save themselves for one Big Strong Man.  Women never watch a TV show (or see a movie) they hate just to stare at an actor’s round bouncy backside.  Because that would be SLUTTY.  That would be IMPURE, and we WOULDN’T WANT THAT.  If women are allowed to talk about sex, then they might not want to know how to please their boyfriends.  And we all know that’s the only reason God put woman on this earth.

Fuck. You.  I may be pretty, and I may be sweet for the sake of this project, but sorry Arlene, I’m not going to let some ebook writing douchewad tell me to shut my mouth because he doesn’t like what came out.

PS: This guy wrote (and published!) a story where he got to have sex with me.  Real classy asshole.

3 responses »

  1. Wow. I sincerely apologize. You won’t believe me, but you completely misunderstood my comment. I was not trying to put you in a corner or not allow you to make the comment. I agree with you. Women should be allowed to have such feelings and to express them openly. All I did was type out a sarcastic tweet. I honest to goodness was not trying to keep you from expressing yourself. You, and all women – my wife and daughters included- should be free to say whatever you want and not have it be judged. If you felt I was judging you, I assure you I was not. My follow up comment expressed so, but you probably already unfollowed me by then.
    I am not the person you accuse me of above, but even in that, you are entitled to your opinion. I’m not trying to win your approval or get into a back and forth, only trying to clearly state my true stance on the issue you raise.
    Tone does not come through in a Tweet so my context was off. Again, I apologize.

  2. Pingback: Dirty Words | Geek Girl Goes Glam

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