“It is important to be fresh and attractive in the morning as it is at bedtime–even if it means you have to get up 10 minutes earlier to wash your face, put on a little makeup, brush your hair and slip into a gay housecoat.” Arlene Dahl, Always Ask a Man.
Up at 8a.m. from a dream that Ian bought us a really nice little house. I don’t think he wanted me to go, but today’s the first day of my new, glam life!
Not sure what a “gay housecoat” is and too afraid to google it. I hope my red kimono will suffice and not send Ian into the arms of his secretary. If he had a secretary, I’m sure he would run to her now. With my blue fleece “cozy” pajama pants, my tie-dyed fleece socks and my red wool “JOIKE” sweater (from MST3K Santa Claus) I look like a hungover clown. Time for makeup!
Does having makeup on from the night before count? The hot pink eye shadow I wore to cover the New Year’s Gala refuses to budge. Two face-washings later, I can finally smudge on some eyeshadow. I try out a few new ways of combing my hair, but within moments, it has fallen like Fort Sumter in the same slightly-right part. At least it’s combed.
I’m already wearing lots of red, so I try to find a lipstick that’s a little more neutral. In my train case I find a copper lipstick I wore when I was going through my weird, androgynous Brooklyn phase, where my style icons were Tom Waits and Benicio del Toro in Sin City–lots of ugly button-down shirts, suit jackets and off-putting cosmetics. Arlene would not approve.
The lipstick backfires the neutral test. Two tissues later it’s left a faint, pretty trace. I slap some gloss on it and declare victory.
Ian is still asleep, so I decide to tidy up so he wakes up to a pleasant household (except for my housecoat). By 8:36 I have lit the furnace, finished the dishes, swept the kitchen and dining room, folded the clothes he left on the chair the night before and put away some stray things. I feel a surprising sense of accomplishment.
When Ian does wake up, he doesn’t really seem to notice except to snicker at my kimono.