Melissa, who awesomely tweets under the handle @nursethebeer as “The future ex-Mrs. Malcolm” (it was pretty much love at first RT. Seriously, follow her, she’s hysterical) sent me this amazing collection of video tutorials about keeping clean, neat and pretty enough so that people won’t run screaming from you. For instance, internet, did you know taking a bath every day is a good habit? Also, don’t wear red nail polish if you have stubby fingers. It’ll draw attention to your gross deformity, and you’ll probably end up in the Mutter Museum, you freak.