Tag Archives: Panties

Good News to Wrap Up Panty Week

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So Many Choices!

As a journalist, I’m trained to ask the hard questions, like “What are the hottest trends in wedding accessories?” or “What kind of country crafts will you sell at your new mall kiosk?”

So I pitched my Panel of Gentleman about their underwear preference on ladies, and the results were surprising.  Only one person, went for thongs, and that was after “extensive research.”

That’s right ladies.  You can go ahead and pry that string out from between the cheeks.

The majority of Gentlemen went for bikinis.  One singled out “the kind with those little ribbons on the sides that undo them.”  A few went for boy shorts, but overwhelmingly, bikinis won.  

I’ll admit, I was surprised.  I always sort of figured underwear was one of those things men had ideas about that they never broached.  Like, “I wish my wife wore thongs, but all she wears are granny panties!”  But that so many came out in support of a simple, easy to find and wearable type of lingerie made me have hope that maybe, just maybe, you can be pretty and comfortable at the same time.  My boyfriend Ian summed it up thusly–“As long as they define the feminine shape and don’t look like you’ve packed two loaves of bread into your pants, they’re good.”

And thus, we conclude Panty Week.

 

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Fancy Pants, Day 2

Today is mint-green, white polka dot and lace-trimmed bikinis.  These get the Liz Lemon seal of comfort approval!  Which is good, because I think I’m getting the flu, and I’ll need to be comfortable.

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Wish I Had Some Night Cheese . . .

The Underpants Debacle

“A French woman wears a fifty dollar dress and a fifteen dollar corset.  An American woman wears a two hundred dollar dress and a two dollar and a half corset”  Amy Ayer, Facts for Ladies (1908)

I haven’t worn particularly fancy underwear since high school, when my ex-fiance, Aaron, used to buy me lots of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret, because he was kind of uncreative (if it wasn’t underwear, it was chocolate).  But when I got out on my own and had no money, it was cotton panties from the Jr. section of Wal-Mart, the kind that comes in the six-pack.  My underpants had to be comfortable, as I was standing for about 10 hours a day, so no thongs, no sexy v-strings, no lace or nylon.  But rest assured, I didn’t have a $200 dress either.

I took this challenge as a way to buy new fancy panties.  (That, and my favorite pair got a hole in them.)   But it’s been so long since I’ve had to buy any kind of lingerie that I wasn’t even sure what Ian liked.  Would he want me to wear bejeweled thongs?  Lacy boyshorts that go so high up into my personal area that they ought to buy me dinner?

So I asked him.  He thought it over and said. “I want them to be cute.  And fun.”  His reasoning being that we were cute and fun, and my lingerie should be uncomplicated.  Lacy underpants, to him, scream high maintenance.

Victoria’s Secret at the Sangertown Square Mall had a 5 for $26 sale, so I sifted through the bins.  The whole place smells of too much perfume and sadness.  The sales girls all wear too much makeup and too-tight skirts.  The other customers look like they’re going to hang themselves with the leopard-print V-string if they don’t pick up some guy named Brad at tonight’s 50 Shades of Grey themed party.

It should be noted that I hate Victoria’s Secret.  I’ve never had a good experience there, and today, dspite my best intentions, was no exception.  I picked out my five pairs–striped, polka dots, bikinis and even a thong–and took them to the register.  The sales girl tells me that two of my panties don’t qualify, even though they were in the bin.  Maybe this isn’t a big deal, but it’s annoying to have to go back, sift through more underwear and stand in line again.  She doesn’t even offer me a VS credit card.

But I came out with five pairs of high-end panties, which will hopefully transform me magically into a sex goddess.