I think I might have figured out part of the reason Chivalry is dead–because some men, (you can spot them because they’re usually wearing a fedora or a bow tie; the more romantic among them might sport a ruffled shirt or floor-length leather trench coat) use it as an excuse to lash out at women when they don’t bend over on the spot. These guys (often referring to themselves as “gentlemen” or “nice guys”) believe that if they hold a door for a woman or pay for dinner, she “owes” them sex at the end of the night. This is bunk, and women are sick of it. No wonder we get weirded out when people don’t hold doors! There are men out there I wouldn’t let hold a door for me if it was leading into a room filled with bunnies where Walton Goggins and Clive Owen and Ewan McGregor were all there holding plates of tiny finger food to feed to me while I lounged on a soft couch watching 30 Rock.
So how about this, everyone. How about we ALL hold the door for other people? How about we pay for dinner if we know a friend is a little short on cash, and we help carry a pal’s luggage if it looks heavy or if the person is clearly burdened with packages. If we get to the table first, we pull out the chair.
And everyone else, let’s try to say “hey, thanks” when other people perform nice tasks for us, hmm? It’s 2013–let’s remove the gender politics from politeness. And quit expecting things from other people. Do good deeds from the heart, not because you think you might get something out of it.
You can hold a door for me any time. Unless I get there first. Then I’ll hold the door for you!
So sensible it’s scary.
Ah yes. The self-proclaimed “nice guy.” How many of those do you meet? I’ve found the majority of those guys are the ones to stay far away from. Great post.